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Help Wanted! Love, New Mommy

Help Wanted! Love, New Mommy   by April Rowen

My cousin just had a baby and I've got infant on my mind!

Infant stage is definitely the most wonderful and the most difficult of all childhood phases (she says smartly, although she only has young children.) I helped raise my two hell-hounds brothers and trust me, as awful as they made my teenage years with their constant mess, constant smell, and constant wildness, they were nothing, NOTHING to mommying an infant.

For some reason, we forget this. Even us moms.

And so, when the new mom arrives home with her new baby, we coo and cuddle, and continue giving advice, but forget that she needs our help. More than ever.

She might have all the baby books.

She might read all the mommy blogs.

She might carry Babies R Us right in her nursery.

But she still has no idea of the physical, emotional, physical, spiritual, and physical toll the next few months will take.

Or maybe she does. And she's fine. (But she's not.)

She's going to need help. Not more words, but us barging over and cooking, cleaning, taking pictures, preparing a sitz bath for her, bringing her Soothies and creams and bottom spray...

She's going to need a break so she can take a shower (ever so slowly and painfully as she eases her broken body under a spray that torments aching breasts...)

She's going to need support -- our vital help. And our vital encouragement; that she's doing everything right, that she's not alone, that she's got this. 

Because on Day 3, when she's slept for all of 6 hours, when she's slammed awake from a deep, healing coma to the sharp reality of pain -- perineum pain, breast pain, and sleep-deprivation pain...  when she's woken yet again in being needed... she's going to go a little batty in losing herself (like we all do) and wonder why nobody told her about this, how she's supposed to survive this, and what's wrong with her anyway for being a terrible mom. And why won't baby stop crying? While each cry is another jolt of joy (my baby is HERE!), the act of bringing said baby to a broken breast that can't handle ANOTHER grueling nurse is the act of heroes. (Think re-attaching snapping turtles and jumper cables to the girls every-other-hour, over and over and over again...) 

Yes, it gets better. Way, way, way better.

...Until you have Baby #2.

But that's for another post! :) In the meantime, having a new baby is hard the hardest. It's also the best, but really, it's the hardest. Let's shower those new moms with our initiative in inviting ourselves over to cook, clean, bathe, diaper, cook, take pictures, feed grapes, cook, paint toenails... anything. She's got this, yes, but let's help her ease into it and give her another baby shower. Or two. Or three.

It's always harder than we ever imagine.

But YOU make all the difference!

Reader Comments (1)

Wow! Your post obviously very informative. Thanks for sharing your idea. I will back again soon.

July 12, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterxnxx

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