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Thursday
Mar262015

How to Make a Strong Husband (for Wives)

How to Make a Strong Husband (for Wives)   by April Rowen

Please Note: This post was prompted from seeing discouraging posts online-- spouses complaining about each other, taking each other out. This one is for us wives, this one is for husbands. Thank you, Peter, for teaching me how to keep you strong(er). Thank you for teaching me how to grow your strength as my man.

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"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A husband is a strong creature. Yes, he may or may not look strong on the outside, and might knit the best socks this side of the planet, but trust me — he’s a strong guy.

Like bacon. Soft OR crispy; Both strong with delicious baconness.

It’s not uncommon for comments to droll and gossip to spread when talking about said husband. “He never does ___ and always does ____ and it drives me crazy! At least YOUR husband makes money. Mine only knits!”

And a husband hears these words.

So he swears to do better. And he tries really hard to do better, too. He shows up more, accomplishes more, says more (or tries to say less), and even brushes his teeth more.

And you really needed him to show up MORE, accomplish MORE, say MORE! And floss, just once, for the love of all that’s holy.

And a husband sees your frustration.

So he once-and-for all pledges to do better. And he tries really hard to do better, too. In fact, he pulls out a few suprises: fresh paint on the picket fence, new tires on the car, installed garden sprinklers. He did good this time and he can’t wait to see your smile. He gets to be your hero.

Today.

Until it’s tomorrow.

And the enchantment is over and the now white picket fence isn’t the exact white you wanted, plus he went cheap and bought cheap paint that will fade within the year, and couldn't he have oiled the car, too?

The garden sprinklers are awesome. You smile.

But wonder if you should have made the garden bigger (or smaller.) and what to do about those gophers this year and why didn’t he think to put chicken wire under the bedding and will he get the right compost this year, unlike last? You reasonably sigh wondering why he can't seem to get it right.

And a husband sees your disapproval. In him.

So he attempts to buy lots of things and makes big changes. He even gets a sitter for an evening. He becomes desperate, living for only one thing — your approval. (Ok, and maybe your admiration, your joy, your smile...)

But he's walking on eggshells which sit on a time-bomb which sit over a pit filled with allegators and, um, brussel sprouts.

And you see that he will never be the guy you always wanted to marry. He will never get it right. He will never be your complete hero. He just can’t seem to be enough, do enough, make enough, say enough, shut-up enough.

Your heart shuts down. You speak to him through sighs, frowns, and irritated glances, like an angry cavewoman in a mate-toss. Cutting sarcasm and nit-pickiness take over. You reach a fork in your marriage....

And a husband becomes weak. 

And he completely gives up. He tunes out. “He gone.” If he was already absent, somehow he’ll become more absent. Rather than work and bleed for your elusive happiness, he’ll find it elsewhere… online, at work, at church, in his man-cave… Anywhere but here. His strength is no longer fueled at home.

And he does need fuel. Desperately. Strength always has — and always will — require fuel. But YOUR fuel is the kind he was made to receive.

How to Make a Strong Husband

Praise him in the morning

Praise him in the evening

Praise him when the sun goes down

And praise him when he’s not around.

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Reader Comments (2)

" And floss, just once, for the love of all that’s holy." Perfect post but that line was the best of all. You made us both lol when I read it aloud. You've been peeking through windows, haha. =)

March 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKelli Dallas

Hahaha! Silly floss. It ruins relationships!

March 27, 2015 | Registered CommenterApril Rowen

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